Dear Me Then, From Me Now: Meet Ember, Service Specialist, Client Services

Hi,

So, let’s start things off. We’ve changed our name. I’m Ember.

There’ll be a lot of changes for you in the pipeline. And honestly, most of those aren’t changes so much as recognising things about yourself. We’re trans, and we don’t realise it until we’re getting into our late 20s.

Cis people don’t usually wonder if they’re trans. The feeling of euphoria being in a skirt, or being seen as a woman online - they’re pretty big flags. We maybe could have seen them clearer, but some amazing people will help you figure your way through it. Listen to them, but more than that, be kind to yourself. Realising who you are is one of the biggest things to pick up on in your life and choosing to transition will be one of the scariest choices, but I promise you, it’s worth it and you’ll be happier after. It’s the right thing to do. I promise.

We’re also neurodivergent. Not just dyslexia, but ADHD too. Like I said, it’s a lot of recognising what’s there already but it’ll take a long time to figure out. I’m still new to the diagnoses, and it still takes me by surprise, but it helps put a lot of our struggles into focus, like the struggle with deadlines.

So. Work. Finding something you’re good at and can do well at is hard. I think it’s hard for everyone, but finding our niche was definitely a struggle. You’ll get laid off soon after you come out, and that’s going to be terrifying. But it won’t take you long to find somewhere that accepts you for who you are, that supports you in all of yourself, and where you can build a career.

You’re going to be very lucky in the people you find. Our sister is a wonderful, kind and caring person who’ll be there and will support you through all of this. Even when things are at their scariest, she’ll be full of unconditional love. You’ll find the most amazing friends, who’ll help you find yourself, come out to yourself, and to others. They’ll help you with your neurodiversity too.

It’s going to be hard sometimes. You’ll feel like you’re struggling to keep your head above water. Take a deep breath. It’s going to get better. When you feel lost, you’ll find your way, and with it, people who love and care and support you.

You’re beautiful. Be kind to yourself. Let others be kind to you. You deserve love, and I promise, you needn’t be careful of how people will react when you come out.

Love,
Ember